Ufff...that fever once again

Its that time of nightly vigil again!

My daughter is running fever once again. Surprisingly, the fever seems elusive during day time when I am fresh, and can take good care of her. It comes only at night time when I am exhausted, tired and groggy!

Giving her a dose of the conventional fever medicine at that time seems the easiest way out - to get back to my sleep.


But is it really the best thing for her?

Fever (burning of the body) is a mechanism of the body whereby it cleanses the body of certain organisms that are not conducive for the good health of the body. Unless the fever goes high (I measure high as going beyond 101 F), there is actually no need for medicines. It is the body's mechanism of self healing, and we must allow it to run its own natural course. Our bodies are intelligent. We must respect its intelligence.

Another reason for fevers are 'burning' anger towards something.

In such a case, a cooling dose of love and a sincere prayer for healing is enough for the healing to occur.

I have noticed that most of the times, my daughter  got a fever if she had got a shout from me the previous day. (Gulp Gulp - yes sometimes even I am guilty of having lost my cool).

Yet, the understanding that it was my anger that caused her fever, was a great learning.

It made me think twice before shouting at her again. And it also taught me that love and love and more love along with prayer was the best way to cure that fever.

Sometimes the fevers are a result of some karmic cleansing (like the one that comes only at night time and doesn't go too high). These kind of fevers, if shown to a doctor, won't yield any 'medical diagnosis'.

This fever again does not require any kind of medications. Some extra love, attention, hugs and prayer will be sufficient to heal it.

So when do we need medicines? If the fever continues to go high despite all the love and prayers, then we may require medicines as helpers.

Note - medicines as helpers - not as the leaders.

The leader should be the body; the medicines are just helpers.

Natural home remedies are superb helpers.

Acupressure is another great helper.

Homeopathy, which works on an overall harmony of body and mind, is also a great helper for healing fevers (or even other dis-eases, that require medical helpers).

Inspite of all this, if the fever doesn't subside, then, and only then would I go for conventional medicine (and I've never actually had to reach till here if I have tried all the above levels of healing first).

Imagine if you had a nail stuck in your toe. If you didn't take the nail out, it would become infected and start oozing pus. So, you go to a doctor and the doctor cleans up the infection that is oozing, bandages it and gives you a pain killer.

But the nail is still in.

So again the wound becomes bad and it hurts you terribly. The area of infection also increases. The amount of infection also increases. Other body discomforts set in as well.

The doctor again cleans up the ooze, and gives stronger pain killers.

But the nail is still in there.

Will your wound ever heal if this continued?

The common pharma medicines most of the time work as the pain killer in the above example. The nail is still stuck in there.

For any wound (physical or mental), the cause of the wound has to be first looked into. Once the cause is looked after, then the healing will happen naturally.

The 'pain killer' can then be given to aid in the healing process. But it cannot heal completely on its own.

Well, with this, I hope that you all are better able to fire fight the burning fevers of your children (or yourself as well).

While I have given an example of fevers here, the same funda applies to almost any dis-ease of the body - of your children as well as yourself.

The cause of almost all dis-eases are mental, and 'You Can Heal Your Life' by Lousie Hay is a wonderful book to read and understand what mental patterns cause a particular dis-ease, and how that mental pattern if changed, can heal the body.

Using this knowledge and prayers, I have healed my fevers, cold, cough, back ache, migraine, thyroid and many other dis-eases which I was carrying in my body earlier.

Disclaimer: This article does not intent to stop anyone from using conventional medicines. Neither does it aim to show the doctors of conventional medicine in any low light. Just as God created human, God guided the human to create the conventional medicines. This article is rather an advice against an abuse of the medicines, that should ideally be used only in severe conditions.

A short note on the power of prayer: Prayer is a powerful tool, that can be used to manifest what we may need in this world. However, this has again been abused. Most people pray for their material wishes to be fulfilled - for more money, better job, partner in life, passing an exam and so on. Little does one realize that in every prayer, there need to be action steps taken by You. Few years back, before I knew of the power of prayers, all my prayers went 'seemingly' unanswered. When I realized the power of prayer, all my prayers were miraculously answered. If God has the power to create human, does he not have the power to heal His child of fevers or fulfill his other desires?

Sharing a small story here as a foot note:

Once a man who was tired of his work and angry with his boss and his colleagues in office, got high fever. The next day he had an important meeting with his boss. His intuition and tired body said. 'Stay in bed'. But the mind said, 'Get up and go to office or you'll get kicked out'. So the man pops in a pill, dresses up and goes to office for another day of thankless, unappreciated work.

But God had another plan for him that day.

If the man had listened to his intuition to stay in bed, God had planned that he would be thrown out of this job and God had a much better job lined up for him the next day.

He had only needed to pray sincerely to God for guidance. God had even planned to cancel the meeting before the man called in sick.

But the man chose not listen to his body or his intuition that screamed to take rest and hence lost a great opportunity that day.

Love - the one stop solution to all your problems. Really?

Love, Love, Love. 

Love is all you need.

A Master once was asked by a disciple that if what if the issues they were facing with their child was not getting better by love, the Master replied - 'Try giving higher doses of love'.

Love is the one stop solution to all problems with your child. All questions - of frustration, anger, irritation, behavior issues, adamant behavior, indifference and so on - the one solution to all problems - Love!

Like get real! 

The Master who would've come up with this solution probably never had kids, or even if he did have, he may not have been responsible for their bringing up, by being for them every minute of every day.

The Master wouldn't have known that Aha! feeling when the child goes off to school and that Arrrghhhhh! moment when they are back.

I remember the first time my daughter went off to school. I had 3 hours!! Like 3 hours to do whatever I chose to do! 3 hours where I wasn't on a fire fight mode, always ready with diapers, food, toys, books, my own work and a zillion other things to handle! I could relax!!! What a blessing it was!

Then when my daughter returned from school, the mind was still in the relax mode but there was no more time to relax, and  there was this great imbalance happening - between what I had wanted to do and what I had to do.

And then of course there started arising frictions! I don't want to all the time do things that I have to do. I want to be able to do things that I love to do and want to do - and those things don't count that which I want to do for my child. (Yes I do love my child to the moon and back - so there are things that I want to do for her and love doing for her...but not 24x7, 365 days a year). So, I started feeling anger.

And then someone says Love!!! Love is the solution to every problem!

It didn't make much sense.

But then in moments of contemplation, when I started thinking of this statement, I could see some form of reality in it. Like wouldn't I always want to be asked to do things nicely and with a lot of love? Wouldn't I want to feel unconditionally loved?

But when it came to putting that into practice with my daughter, there were a million challenges!

So, if I wanted to read my book but my daughter wanted me to spend time with her then, talking nicely and with love to her didn't work.

Or if I wanted her to finish her meal nicely, sitting in one place, and chewing without being reminded to chew; with love; it didn't work either!

Overall, I was going out of my way, to be nice to her and spending all my time with her (as I thought that was what love was), that I had little or no time left for me. This brought in a lot of anger and dissatisfaction with my life, and as a result, the 'love' feeling was fast disappearing.

Then I had a realization. My daughter is my life - but she is not everything in my life. I like to do other things as well, and I need time for it and that its okay to take time out to do these things that I love. I love to work on my mind, body and soul through walks, yoga and mediation. So I decided I will take time out for it. When I started spending 2 hours a day on my walks, meditation and yoga, then I didn't mind spending the next 2-3 hours purely with my daughter.

I made a list of the things I wanted to do in a day. Then I divided it into the things that I can do with my daughter - like cooking, cleaning, laundry etc and the things that I don't want to do with my daughter - like my walk, yoga, meditation and so on. That way, if I had to spend the next 6 hours with my daughter - I could choose to spend half that time by doing work with her helping me, and thereby becoming more responsible and aware of the work load that has to be managed. And the other half by being with her - completely. so in that time we could play games or do some art and craft or dance or jump on the sofa! 

It worked wonders and we both had great fun!

As I started to feel more peace in my mind, my heart opened up and I could feel more love.

When I felt more love in my heart, I could give her more love as well.

The activities that I had to do without my daughter were planned at a time when she was asleep or in school.

Now with my daughter being a terrible sleeper, many times I didn't get time to do the things that I wanted to do in her sleep time.

This again brought in a lot of anger and frustration, and though the rest of the hours were happy-happy, but if my me-time was disturbed, I was very upset.

Then someone told me that if my daughter is asking for time when I want to mediate, maybe its God's way of telling me that being joyful at that moment with my daughter is the kind of meditation he wants me to practice that day.

This brought in some peace again.

I began to notice that peace in my mind always brought out love in my heart.

So, peace of mind and love were directly proportional.

And I also noticed that the situations didn't change for me to feel more at peace. The situations were exactly the same, what changed was my attitude to each situation.

Oh! Now I see, I thought.

So if I changed my perception of a situation, then I felt more peace at mind and thereby I also felt more love in my heart!

That made sense. This was something I could easily understand.

Now, I started using this technique for almost every situation where I wasn't 'comfortable'.

Slowly, my mind was at peace most of the time during the day, and that meant I felt more and more love throughout the day. 

My heart was expanding!!

For every outburst of my child, I started seeing things from a different angle which brought in more clarity and more peace of mind and thereby more love!

Then my daughter started getting older. And that meant she was spending more time at school. And that in turn meant she met more people, had more friends and learnt a lot of things, which I didn't teach her.

Like throwing tantrums!

Like being adamant.

Like not responding to something I asked.

Gulp Gulp. 

The angers were flaring once again.

Peace of mind was getting lost once again.

Love was there - but on the verge of getting 'lost'.

I could not see the situation from her side if she wanted to skip school everyday, or not do her homework everyday or not study at all for her tests or not bathe even after 2 days!

I needed to find a balance here.

Some boundaries had to be set - for the good of my daughter.

I noticed that in my overwhelming love for her, where I overlooked all her not-so-good behaviors, I spoiled her.

I could see her becoming rude to others, intolerant of others mistakes, impatient and much more - because she thought she'll be loved nevertheless.

Its true, she is loved nevertheless.

But this is not the kind of behaviors I would want my child to have. I needed her to be a good adult who would be more grateful, patient, gracious and so on.

So I started to impose rules and if those rules were not being followed, (leaving some margin for allowance) there would be some form of a repercussion.

The repercussions were never physical punishments.
Yet, in doing this, the mind was at great unease, thinking that I didn't want to be the kind of mother to impose rules that had repercussions but then I had a realization of a whole new angle to this 'Love Story'.

If I loved my daughter enough, then I had to do this in order for her to grow up to be a responsible, caring, empathetic adult. 

She has to learn her boundaries.

One wouldn't go though all this mental turmoil to get their child to behave if they didn't love her? Would they?

So, love, love, love here meant watching my daughter evolve. 

Just like a river that flows, my daughter flowed. I had to just watch her flow, and place rocks (somewhere big and somewhere small) in places where, if she went, she would be straying from her path to the mighty ocean or wasting her energies by creating too many tributaries or bringing a flood that could destroy all of life.

This realization again brought great amount of peace to my mind.

And then the love quotient increased again :) 


So, its true. The Master who said this - Love is all you need.

Love can be in many forms and all are 'valid', as long as you are honest in the way you show your love.

Let the love come from the depths of your heart to have a truly loving relation with your child and not from the shallowness of ego that says that you are right and your child is wrong and so you take an action based on ego, though it may go under the name of love.

My salutations to the Great Master who made that statement and my deepest gratitude to my daughter for bringing forth these realizations through my life experiences with her.

Oh...You are just a housewife!!

I used to dread being a housewife. I had dreaded the role of a housewife who does nothing but look after the house and her kids and her husband! Like, get a life! There is more beyond the house, kids and husband and some kitty parties!..something like real work!

I have been a highly career oriented woman. I have worked 18 hours days, leaving all concerns of self or family, giving my whole self completely, totally, fully to my work.

And I have loved every bit if it.

Having a job (but no children yet), I was able to look after my house and spend time with my friends and on my self and my husband as well - wasn't I? So why couldn't the housewives also go out and do some work and help bring in more income to the house? And maybe the husbands could then help out in the house chores and both could do the same things - work as well as look after home and children. That is balance. That is equality. That is what is Right.

Until I became a Mother.

Then, my priorities changed.

I wanted to spend more time with my child. And I was tired looking after the child (who was fully dependent on me for everything in the beginning months)and looking after my Self along with spending some time with my husband, on household chores and other important things. There was no time left for my work or the energy in case I did get some time off.

Slowly the hope of doing a job, remained just that - a hope.

I took on the role of a housewife - the dreaded role!!

Even though I loved being with my child, the idea of being a housewife was so terrifying that it took me some time to come to peace with it, and a little longer for my husband to also come to terms with the fact that I will not be contributing financially to the house expenses.

I was going through an identity crisis!

The gloom was becoming unbearable until I questioned my preconceived ideas of a housewife. The preconceived idea of balance. The preconceived idea of equality.

If, everything in this life is measured in monetary terms, then the family is horribly imbalanced if the wife is not earning. But if balance has a wider scope, then balance is maintained when the Yin and the Yang are balanced. Balance is maintained when the masculine and the feminine energies are balanced. Balance is maintained when the giving and the receiving is balanced.

Men are generally more tuned to 'Doing' and 'Giving', while women are generally more tuned towards 'Being' and 'Receiving'.

Note: The 'receiving' here is not physical receiving, but spiritual receiving.

The feminine energy and hence most women are generally more intuitive, and can connect more easily to the Divine, while the masculine energy and hence most men are generally wired better to going out and getting things done to help in the physical survival.

So then, in a family, the balance is maintained when the physical and the metaphysical come together equally. The masculine energies bringing in the physical necessities of the family, and the feminine energies bringing in the metaphysical necessities of the family.

The feminine and masculine energies are present in both men and women, but feminine energies are mostly (but not always) more developed in a women and the masculine energies are mostly (but not always) more developed in a man.

However, many times men have a highly developed intuitive sense hence their feminine energies are quite strong and many women are great go-getters, hence their masculine energies are quite strong.

So, to have a perfect balance in the house, there needs to be a balance of the masculine as well as the feminine energies. Who brings which form of energy is unique to each household.

Once I understood this and started to see my self as the bringer of the feminine energies to the house, I started seeing myself in a new light and with renewed respect.

Once I could see my Self and my role as a housewife with respect, many things changed for the better.

I was in charge of the house and its members' spiritual growth. So, I started developing my spiritual senses.

As my vibrations got stronger, the manifestations of my wishes/ prayers/ needs started happening faster. I could see miracles happening in our (our meaning my whole family's) daily life.

When there would be a financial crunch, I would pray for help, and lo and behold, a few weeks later, my husband would get an untimely bonus!

When my husbands colleague (in late 30's) had a heart attack because of work pressure, I prayed that my husbands' work pressure be eased, and soon he was able to take more time off work and even in work, his work pressures reduced greatly.

When someone fell ill at home, my prayers to heal them would manifest in their faster recovery.

Even my physical presence at home improved the quality of life of my children and husband and of course me! When my daughter comes home from school, she gets a hug from her mummy, not a maid. When she eats her food, it has been cooked with deep love by her mother and not some cook whose negative thoughts while cooking could adversely affect the 'life-force' of the food. When my husband comes back home, he sees a happy wife and happy children which melt away his office worries. And I? I am able to get time to do things that I deeply love  and enjoy doing and I feel great about being able to be the channel of Divine guidance and love for this family.

So, my role in the form of a housewife, and as a spiritual magnet of the family, was equally important for the well-being of the entire family as was my husband's role in providing for the physical needs of the family.

The balance was achieved.

Having said this,
Do I work? Yes I do. I work to bring God's light to people.
Do I earn money from it? Yes I do. It may not be much, but it is there.
Does my husband do household chores? Yes he does. He cooks most of the meals on Sundays and helps in many other things as well.

However we both have our strong areas, and we are both grateful for this opportunity to serve each other and our lovely children in this balanced fashion.

In a radio, there is a receiver that receives the signals. Then it is sent to the speaker, which is what we hear. The speakers are useless without the receivers and the receivers are useless without the speakers. Both are needed, and both are required to do their respective jobs well, so that one can clearly hear the sound.

This in no way means that women should only be house wives and men should only be bread earners. Rather, there can be a total role reversal or there can be a balance achieved with both working, as well as with both connecting spiritually.

However, demeaning of the housewives because they do not earn is something that needs to be done away with. Its an obsolete thought.

And dearest housewives, wake up to your responsibility of being the spiritual connect of the family.

Someone is required to make the house and someone is required to make the house a home.